Hahahahaha I'm so laughing at the irony that is my life. I said I want to go into the city, except I didn't specify. I'm working in the city now, in a building that over looks the whole damn city in the 46th floor. Wow right? No. It sucks, because even if I'm in the city, I'm not in the city. I'm not enjoying it. Well, isn't that funny? =-=. I think I give up.

I just don't see what I was fighting for anymore. And I can't sleep until I curse and insult myself. I'm no good, no good. I can't do anything anybody asks me to. There is a specific thought that runs through my head, but I can't let the the thought finish. It makes me want to scream out, "I'm not done yet! This can't be it!".

I don't know anymore.

And my fanfic list grew. one day when I finally, fully, realize that I mean nothing even to myself; i'm going to finish them all. Fanfics are the only thing that make me feel useful, but I even neglect that.

Where did it all go so horribly wrong?